The ethical issues that I am faced with are, although am a trousseaux counselor, I still sympathize with what the couple is going through especially since a child is involved. Helping the couple will take a lot of work. First I would sit both of them down and listen to everything that they are going through. I would give them the pros of staying together in the state, then I would give them the con, because the state we are in does not recognize same-sex marriage, they would lose their benefits; such as tax benefits, health and social security benefits.
In the case of discrimination, the state will not offer any kind of recourse because the state law itself won’t accept the marriage. Would then discuss with the couple, the custody battle with Emily s parents. First would recommend that if it was k with Lois, Emily should have a one and one conversation with her parents. Another suggestion would for the couple to sit down with the grandparents and without throwing their sexuality in their faces, simply explain to them, that even though they are gay, they are capable of being good parents. It would be best to not be pushy and listen to the concerns of the grandparents.
If that didn’t work then I would talk with the parents, sometimes a person outside of he equation can shed a little light on the issue. Rebecca Farrell (personal communication, March 20, 2009) points out that this case also involves custody issues that are challenging when counseling a same-sex couple. If all that fails and the grandparents decide to pursue the custody, I would suggest for them to seek legal advice. For their safety from the neighbors and others that are interfering with them, I would suggest that they go to the area police station and make a statement, so the police can know their lives might be in danger.